Crunch time

I'm feeling the pressure of the final days of vacation.

I went in to work on Friday to talk to one of the teachers whose class I will be taking over come July 4th. Just being in the office brought me back to reality: vacation is just about over and soon it'll be back to life as usual.

You'd think I would have had this realization when Darren started his new job last week, but he only worked 2 days before getting a bad cold so he's been home with me for the last 4 days straight...kind of like the rest of May/June.

So since this is our last real day off together (Darren gets Sunday/Monday off) if we don't count next week when most of the world is off for Canada Day, I woke up with big plans! Ok, so I didn't have big plans, but I had big desire to do something summery and fun today.

Well, it was cloudy this morning and Darren's still not feeling himself so when I mentioned going to the beach, -- the only thing I could think of that fit the description of summery and fun-- I shouldn't have been surprised with the negative reaction. Right then and there my spirits got deflated and I gave up on any chance of enjoying today.

So we lazed around the apartment, reading, watching TV, playing games, until Darren was getting too hot to stay here any longer. Our big outing for the day was to go to the mall for him to get his hair cut and pick up some thank-you cards.

I don't know why I let my emotions get the best of me so often. There's no reason why I couldn't have suggested something else instead (except for the fact that NOTHING else came to mind!) or just decided to enjoy our last vacation day together together.

I think there are a number of issues at play here:

• I feel like when I want to do something fun, there's no one around who is in the same frame of mind. I'm not just referring to Darren; I can think of no one that I can call who would be free at that moment to have fun with me.

• Many things require planning or coordination with others, which doesn't allow for spontanaity. At the same time, planning fun seems a bit stifled to me.

• I am at the mercy of my emotions. Darren's trying to help me get those darn guys under control, but this is quite a process. That's what comes from years of emotional suppression - BE WARNED!

Anyway, Darren's in Hamilton for a couple of hours this evening, recording a podcast with his buddies. By the time he gets home, I will have thought of something fun and sick person-friendly for us to do this evening. In the meantime, I'm composing a list of possible summery fun activities so the next time my first suggestion gets squashed, I can pull out another.

How's that for proactivity?