Yes, I'm pathetic

I have a lot of issues. I know it. I admit it. I won't pretend to have it all together. If you and I ever have a conversation that goes beyond the surfacy acquaintance stuff, I'll reveal my crazy (well, as much as I think you and I can both handle.)

While I have come to terms with the fact that I have a long way to go before I can call myself fully functional, I'm not content to say in this place...usually. Darren tries to help me out, and he does a terrific job. I've come a long way in the past year, thanks to key events and key players in my life. But whenever we try to get past the next hurdle, it seems the same conclusion is always reached: I need a friend.

Don't get me wrong; I don't live in a people-less bubble. But it seems that scheduling issues always get between me and the women I know whom I love and connect with. We used to see each other at least once a week - for a greeting and hug, if nothing else - but that was before I started going to church in another city, a decision that I almost always think was the right one.

I realize that I've pretty much done this to myself. I also realize that if I did have a real, good friend that my problems wouldn't disappear, but somehow it seems like the best way to make progress along the road to "normal"-- whatever that is.

Sometimes I am surprised by the consequences that come with particular decisions. Who knew that deciding to get married would actually make me lonelier?