Hopefully the last of its kind

Since I know that at least one person checks this blog semi-regularly to see my health status, I thought I'd better update it.

I went back to work on Thursday. This decision was made after considering a couple of factors:

1. I had 4 good days in a row. By "good days" I mean I was able to eat semi-normally, complete small tasks like drive Darren to school, make cookies, stand through most of the singing at church and clean the bathroom. Of course I stopped to take rests, but I was able to successfully my lifestyle - modified.
2. My blood work last week indicated that my levels of sodium, potassium, iron, etc. were good.
   
3. I had a very encouraging visit to the doctor on Tuesday. She confirmed that this was indeed a virus that she likened to the flu (a 4-6 week illness) and advised me to return to work on a reduced workload.
   

So I created a lesson plan that involved me standing very little for Thursday (Ex. I changed all white board activities to overhead ones, etc.) and made the decision to go back that day.

Thursday morning I woke up feeling terrible again. Many of my symptoms that had died down returned and I spent the morning in bed, telling myself that if I just got enough rest that morning, I'd be OK for my 3:30 class. Around 1:30 I headed to work so I could look over the notes the supply teachers had left me and make some final decisions about what to include in the lesson. But sitting at my desk I felt hot, shaky, uneasy in my digestive tract and unable to think clearly. I was kicking myself for even trying to go back when I knew that morning that I wasn't well, but I thought that maybe all I needed was a little push to get back into the swing of things.

I'm feeling a number of things: I'm frustrated because I truly thought I was on the mend. I know this is the third time I've said that, but I was confident this time. I feel foolish for having tried and failed yet again to return to work. I'm also bored. I'm tired of being at home, I miss my colleagues and students, and I want to return to 'normal' life, whatever that is. Besides that, I find myself often doubting the veracity of this illness. Because I have so many good moments, I wonder whether this is a figment of my imagination.

But people are so wonderful. Darren reassures me constantly, despite an intense workload he's bearing. My parents were here and they brought some easy-to-make meals as well as some frozen homemade soup (I was spoiled as a child so now I have a hard time eating canned soup) which was very helpful. And my friends are praying, sending encouraging notes and running errands for us.

I know this is temporary and I'm still not sure what it is I am to learn through this. But in the meantime I guess I'm to rest a little more and build up some more strength.