Only two months ago today...

Today is our second mesiversary. That's right, I said MESiversary.

Darren believes that his degree in linguistics gives him the right to make up new words, and I concur. Actually I think any native speaker has the ability (and right) to create new words that can be understood by other native speakers.

Most of these words will never become widespread pheonomena, but I have a sneaky suspicion mesiversay will. Its little sister, semiversary probably won't, though. And diaversary has no hope in the world - there are simply too many of them to be worth noting each.

I have another sneaky suspicion: after we get to our first anniversary, we (and most couples, I presume) will probably stop counting the months, but that gives each newlywed couple eleven solid occasions to use this word. Somebody ought to call Mr. Webster, don’t you think?

Oh, you may be wondering how we celebrated this momentous occasion. Well, this morning I rolled over and said, "Happy second mesaversary, baby." Now I know it doesn't compete with Steve and Rachel's skydiving adventure, but that was their second ANNIversary. See? A couple of letters can have a profound impact on a word’s implied meaning and its associated celebrations.

Heat avoidance

Ok, it's hot! The Weather Network says it's currently only 30 degrees, but it feels like 39. For my American friends, that's 102.2. I'd say that's pretty hot.

For the most part, we haven't minded the fact that our apartment lacks air conditioning but the past couple of days have been a little more challenging to deal with.

Yesterday to beat the heat we decided to spend the afternoon at the beach. So we (Darren, Ashley, Chuck and I) gathered our towels, musty though some of them were, and headed to Port Dalhousie.

I had always thought that Lake Ontario was off limits in terms of swimming, but a few weekends ago we met our friends there after they and their little boys had swum in the lake. Darren noticed a sign that day that said the water was safe, so when we heard the weather forcast for yestarday, we thought this to be the best option. (Now, the very idea of needing a sign to indicate that one won't be harmed by entering a body of water should cause one to think, but we took it as a go-ahead.)

This time, however, the sign had been changed. It now reads that the water is not safe for swimming, due to high bacteria levels. Our reaction involved throwing caution somewhat to the wind and entering to upper-thigh level. It was a fun little outing despite the fact that no one in Port sells frisbees and we couldn't get our heads wet.

Back at our apartment, the sun had moved far enough to the west that I was able to nap with a fan blowing directly on me while the boys fought each other on the Dreamcast. The evening's survival tactic involved going to the movie theatre, sweater in tow. (What irony, eh?)

This morning the temperature in our apartment was perfect! Laying in bed I was wishing the church we're currently attending had an afternoon service so we could enjoy the coolness of the morning at home and avoid the heat of the day in the air conditioned building. But alas, we missed the morning weather as we headed to church just before 10am.

And now the next question: what do we do this afternoon to survive until the temperature drops this evening? The library is closed on Sundays, we've already been the the mall once this weekend (Monster House was better than both Superman and Pirates II, by the way) and most other cool places expect visitors to leave some money behind when they're done there. Perhaps it'll be another sitting by the fan day.

But I know that it's only temporary; the daytime heat doesn't last forever. I got a little teary-eyed this morning with thankfulness when we sang the following lyrics:

Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

Despite my complaining about the weather and entering into "survival mode," I much prefer the summer to the winter, especially since it's so short. And as long as the evenings allow for sufficient sleep, I'm happy to deal with being a little less energetic while the sun is out.

A job well done

"You never really know how filthy your bathroom is until you've cleaned it." Chinese proverb :)

There are few things in life that make me as happy as a freshly cleaned bathroom. And there are few better reasons to clean a bathroom than that company is coming.

It seems that Darren and I are content to abide in an apartment with a "well-lived-in" feel until someone comes to visit. Perhaps we need the additional motivation to sort that stack of papers we've been collecting on the coffee table and vaccuum that carpet whose colour really hides the dirt well. So thank-you to Chris and Christy, Chris and Kari, and now Ashley who have provided this much-needed incentive for us.

As you probably can guess, my task this morning was to clean the bathroom. I have mixed feelings toward this job. I enjoy the fact that it's quick and you can see the results of your effort. I also love the outcome! But I absolutely despise hair, which puts a damper on things.

I don't hate all hair - that which is attached to the body it's alright - but on the floor, counter, pillow...anywhere... it grosses me right out! I'm a little less disturbed when it's my own hair, but I still don't like it. So I always tackle the bathroom cleaning task with trepidation.

I am pleased to say that I have successfully rid our loo of all renegade hair and it currently is fit for anyone's use. Welcome, Ashley. We're ready for you!

A visit to the zoo

I know, I know...you wish you could go to the zoo but you either

• are working now and can't just drop everything to stare at animals.
• figure Toronto is just too far to travel for monkeys and elephants.
• can't afford the $19. admission charge (that is, if you're an adult - it's cheaper for kids and seniors, of course).
• feel silly going without kids and you're plum out of kids.
• are afraid that those cages aren't as strong as they look.

So, with the help of my favourite photographer, Charlie-san Fournier, I bring the zoo to you. Enjoy!

Learning to drive...again

It's important to rejoice in life's little victories.

When Darren and I got married, we each owned a vehicle. Well, I have a few more payments until I technically own mine, but....

Now, while there are lots of couples who need to have 2 vehicles, we don't. I work in Welland so I have to drive, but Darren is working down the street for the summer so he can certainly walk. Then in the fall when he goes to school, I can either drop him off at the University on my way to work, or he can take the bus. Either way, there's no need to be insuring 2 cars and paying for an extra parking space just because. So we decided to get rid of one.

This was not an easy decision, let me tell you. I'm so afraid that in a year or two, we'll be working in different places and won't be able to carpool or use public transportation (that's my history showing - I've never, ever lived and worked in the same city) and have to buy a second vehicle...after owning one not long before!!! So we're in the process of negotiations with my sister (who incidently is afraid of having another lemon of a car) for a semi-permanent transaction, to ease both our minds.

But even after we decided that we'd become a one-vehicle family, we had to decide which vehicle to keep. For Darren this was a no-brainer: Saturn SL1 vs Honda Civic. But to me it was a little more complicated. I gave some reasons like "The Civic will fetch us at least $10 000 whereas we'll be lucky to get half that for the Saturn even though she's still got lots of life in her. So, shouldn't we run her into the ground?" and "But your car doesn't even have a name! I love my Mikko!" However, the real issue was this: I don't know how to drive standard, so getting rid of the automatic in favour of the manual car was a scary proposition.

I should say I didn't know how to drive standard. Darren has slowly been teaching me for the past 3 months. That means I've spent the last 100 days or so in a state of unease every time I sit down behind the wheel. There have been no major catastrophies, but plenty of tire squeeling, engine stalling, car jerking and a couple instances of emergency-break-still-on-induced sputtering. But more than anything there has been a lot of heart pounding and freaking out whenever new scary situations arose (like a car in front of me slowing down or...heaven forbid...turning left!)

My first solo outing was to Dunnville to get my hair cut and I went out of my way to avoid the stop light in Fonthill. (It's too scary to stop on an incline. I'm SURE I'm going to roll back into the person behind me. Don't they know better than to stop so close to me???) Also, the first time I drove to work, I took the long back route to avoid a left turn onto the highway. But I'm proud to say that I no longer make detours that aren't purely for scenery enjoyment purposes. And I even find it a little bit fun too (but don't tell Darren!) So, I guess we can keep the standard.

Oh, and the Civic did get a name. The next time you're over, I'll introduce you to Trevor.

Canada Day plans

Happy Birthday, Canada.

What do people do on Canada Day? I guess the typical thing to do is to go camping and enjoy the day, sitting around, beer in hand, chatting with friends.

I guess another possibility is to join in the municipal festivities - St. Catharines has an annual Family Street Party.

I have never done either of these things.

Canada Day 2002 and 2003 I spent in Bosnia, 2004 I was in Chile. Prior to that, I clearly remember working on Canada Day 1999 in order to take off a day closer to the weekend. I was at camp for most Canada Days in the mid 90s, and I can't think of where I was or what I did all the other years...but it certainly wasn't doing the typical thing.

Last spring, after running through this list of "lost" Canada Days, I decided that Darren and I would really celebrate it in 2005. Then were invited to a wedding on that very day. Now, I do enjoy a good wedding, but not on the day that I was anticipating celebrating in true Canadian style (whatever that is). I freaked out a little, but we went to the wedding and had a good time (until Darren fell asleep at the table. Sometimes I really am surprised that I stayed with him so long).

Compared to July 1, 2006, the wedding looks great! I spent our nation's birthday this year at a walk-in clinic. But it wasn't a bad day all together. Darren went to work at 10 as usual, but came back 25 minutes later. Apparantly they had decided that they were only going to open for dinner. So, he accompanied me to the clinic and taught me about Martin Luther the entire time. (I think I caught 80% of it). Then Chuck came by in the late afternoon and played video games with my husband while I rested. Then finally I did something typically Canadian on this day - we watched the firewords in Port Dalhousie. There was no way a little strep throat was going to stop me from celebrating Canada Day!

I have no idea what we'll do next year, but I'm over my "have to celebrate like a real Canadian" fettish. I think maybe we should come up with our own tradition for this holiday. We'll see in about 11 and a half months.

Visit to Niagara Falls

Got nothing to do? Why not grab your camera and head to Niagara Falls? You could get some shots like these, taken by the fabulous Chuck, official photographer of Darren and Larissa.

Crunch time

I'm feeling the pressure of the final days of vacation.

I went in to work on Friday to talk to one of the teachers whose class I will be taking over come July 4th. Just being in the office brought me back to reality: vacation is just about over and soon it'll be back to life as usual.

You'd think I would have had this realization when Darren started his new job last week, but he only worked 2 days before getting a bad cold so he's been home with me for the last 4 days straight...kind of like the rest of May/June.

So since this is our last real day off together (Darren gets Sunday/Monday off) if we don't count next week when most of the world is off for Canada Day, I woke up with big plans! Ok, so I didn't have big plans, but I had big desire to do something summery and fun today.

Well, it was cloudy this morning and Darren's still not feeling himself so when I mentioned going to the beach, -- the only thing I could think of that fit the description of summery and fun-- I shouldn't have been surprised with the negative reaction. Right then and there my spirits got deflated and I gave up on any chance of enjoying today.

So we lazed around the apartment, reading, watching TV, playing games, until Darren was getting too hot to stay here any longer. Our big outing for the day was to go to the mall for him to get his hair cut and pick up some thank-you cards.

I don't know why I let my emotions get the best of me so often. There's no reason why I couldn't have suggested something else instead (except for the fact that NOTHING else came to mind!) or just decided to enjoy our last vacation day together together.

I think there are a number of issues at play here:

• I feel like when I want to do something fun, there's no one around who is in the same frame of mind. I'm not just referring to Darren; I can think of no one that I can call who would be free at that moment to have fun with me.

• Many things require planning or coordination with others, which doesn't allow for spontanaity. At the same time, planning fun seems a bit stifled to me.

• I am at the mercy of my emotions. Darren's trying to help me get those darn guys under control, but this is quite a process. That's what comes from years of emotional suppression - BE WARNED!

Anyway, Darren's in Hamilton for a couple of hours this evening, recording a podcast with his buddies. By the time he gets home, I will have thought of something fun and sick person-friendly for us to do this evening. In the meantime, I'm composing a list of possible summery fun activities so the next time my first suggestion gets squashed, I can pull out another.

How's that for proactivity?

Tossing, turning and dreaming

Lately neither Darren nor I have been sleeping well. We both wake up regularly usually starting around 4 am. There are a few side effects of this phenomenon: we feel tired in the morning, we get to talk to each other throughout the night, and I am more likely to remember my dreams.

The latter of these was especially true last night. I remember vividly the last few things that I thought about/saw while asleep.

First, it was mother's day and Chuck brought Darren and I a gift. (No, I was not a mother in the dream -- just one of those strange dream coincidences, I think.) It was a very creative gift: he bought us multiple phone cards that had different minute values and that could be used only to call his phone number. But rather than just give them to us, he and a friend had spent 3 weeks trying to make them into a game. This game kept morphing - at one point it was like a puzzle, then a series of anagrams, then a card game. I remember thinking it was one of the most fabulous gifts I'd ever received.

Then I was driving in a big cordoroy vehicle with a bunch of women somehow related to the Conley family (Lorraine, Christy, Sandra, Jane) and we stopped at a store that had closed for Sandra to get herself a mother's day gift.

While there we saw a couple of boys who were writing a nice note to their mom on the first page of a fancy pad of paper - you know, one with flowers and maybe a verse from the Bible on it or something. They were writing quickly and were planning to rip off the page and run out of the store...and were feeling very guilty in doing so. Silly boys!

Oh, all this time I was wearing my wedding dress and carrying big bags of all the wedding accessories in boxes and a change of clothes which consisted of 5 different shirts (2 of which I didn't even like and gave to my mom's friend Kim to give to her daughter --she has only sons), 2 skirts and a pair of pajama bottoms. But since there were no pants, I couldn't get changed. I ran into Kay, our dear neighbour and family friend from when I was growing up, and she commented on the fact that I was wearing my wedding dress again. Apparantly this was a regular occurrence for me.

I like dreams - I think it's very interesting how the mind does such strange things while we're asleep - but I sure don't understand them. Part of me feels like I get better rest when I don't remember what I was thinking about while asleep.

But I know for a fact that I get better rest when I don't wake up every 15 minutes! Let's hope the new mattress that is being delivered today will help with that!

Surprises in strange places

This morning was the funeral service for my Great Aunt Betty. She was my grandma's twin sister and for the later years of her life, neighbour. I don't have many memories of Aunt Betty because she was quite ill for most of my able-to-remember life.

I knew her husband a little better. I remember lots of interesting conversations with the knowledgeable Uncle Norm, while Aunt Betty slept. It was not that he was healthier, but his ailments were debilitating in different ways.

I didn't ever think poorly of Betty, but I also didn't have any fond memories. But today at the service I saw a different side of her. Her son, daughter-in-law and 3 of her grandchildren spoke (or had their thoughts read) about what they loved about their mother/grandmother. They talked of an ever-listening ear, a non-judging aura, a comforting word, a faithful pray-er, an everlasting source of strength, and tons of delicious pies. It made me sad that I can think only of a disoriented, pain-ridden woman.

I can't say that I love funerals, but there are some positive aspects to them. It's a wonderful opportunity for family to get together and remember the good times they had with the person who has passed on. And for those who didn't really know him/her, it gives a chance to learn about what they missed.


Oh, the flowers represent the flowers placed on her casket today (and incidently, also on her husband's when he passed away 2 years ago). Uncle Norm bought Aunt Betty 2 dozen roses on their wedding day, so the family thought it would be appropriate to "send them off" with the same gift.

Sneezing and reading

Ok, so it's summertime...why am I sick? Who gets a cold at this time of year? I understand all the sniffles in January, but June sneezes should be out of the question!

I woke up one morning last week with a sore throat and I knew exactly what was coming: 2 days of sneezing (this is the part I like), 2 days of stuffy nose (one overlapping the sneezing day) and then 2 weeks of coughing (with some nose blowing thrown in for good measure).

The coughing just started today.

I shouldn't complain - a cold is probably the least serious of all ailments, but it sure is annoying.

On an unrelated note, I'm reading a Papelucho Misionero, a Chilean children's book. I would say it's something a child in grade 4 would read. It's about a little boy who (I think) has a really vivid imagination. Either that or his life is crazy!

It's all in spanish and I understood 90% of the first chapter. The second chapter had a lot of vocab I was unfamiliar with so I only got about 50% of it, but the third got better. Here's what's happening so far with Papelucho:

• His friend found his "calling": to be a sailor. Consequently, Papelucho wanted to find his "calling."
• While Papelucho was laying (hiding?) under a sofa, grasping the legs, one broke off. Consequently, he thought he had found his "calling": to be a sofa leg.
• He prayed, asking God to give him another calling and felt that He would answer.
  
• Somehow there was a big fire and the firefighters called him a hero in the end. (This is the chapter I only got 50% of). Consequently, Papelucho thinks his "calling" is to be a firefighter.
• His parents just informed him that they're all moving to Africa. Papelucho is now getting ready by earning money to buy what he thinks he needs to bring with him (by dumping garbage cans in the street and offering to clean them for money, among other methods).
  

I'm reading this mostly to keep up my spanish, which I'm discovering is is quite poor. But I'm reading without using a dictionary. I figure if I make my ESL students guess meaning from context all the time, I should try to see how difficult or easy it really is. So far I haven't repented of my teaching methods, but then again, I'm only in chapter 3.

The transformation

A very strange thing has happened since Darren and I got married: we've started becoming each other.

This realization came when we were visiting my parents' home in celebration of Alex's 5th birthday. We were playing a card game with my Grandma Spaz, mom and dad. The final scores were shocking! Dad lost (no surprise there) and mom won (also no surprise), but the big deal was that Darren beat me! This is the first time such an event has taken place, if you don't count the chess games we've played and for those I feel no shame because I still have to ask which way the "castle" and "horse" move. I've always held to the fact that my Dutch roots make me a better card player (as you can read about in this post); Darren now claims that he has become Dutch by marriage (as you can read about in this post).

But this morphing is working two ways. On two separate occasions within the first few days of being back in Canada, I have given Darren, the mapster, correct directions when his instincts would have led us astray. This did happen again yesterday during our road trip in London, but my husband would probably dismiss that one by saying that since I lived in that city for a year, I should know my way around. So I'll enter into evidence the first of these instances:

About 2 weeks ago, as we were pulling out of the Burlington Sleep Country parking lot, Darren failed to heed my instructions to turn left at the intersection. Following a semi-lengthy discussion about which way the QEW, 403, lake and downtown hamilton lay, he finally made a U-turn and headed the right way. --rejoicing, or should I say gloating, followed--

Now, this may seem like nothing, but early on in my driving days I had to convince myself that getting lost added fun to the adventure since it happened so often. I can get lost even when I have a good map and clear directions in my head about where I'm going. I can get lost going to a place I've been before. Or should I say I used to do all these things...back in my single days.

In the final evaluation, I think I'm getting a better deal than Darren is. I've picked up a useful life skill AND gained a real card opponent! Darren, on the other hand, came out even: what 'face' he loses by turning the wrong way on the highway he gains back by beating me in a game of cards. Yay for me!

Surprise security

This is a little story of how God has blessed us beyond what we would have thought to ask.

Niether Darren nor I are working right now. Darren quit his job the day before our wedding. There are a couple of reasons for this:

• he moved to St. Catharines with me, so the commute is rather lengthy and he had applied to be a full-time student in the fall and hopefully make a career change afterward so keeping the job would have been temporary anyway.
  
• I have the first half of the summer semester off and will return to teaching the first week of July, taking over for teachers who want to spend the summer months at home with their children. But for now we are income-less.

Neither Darren nor I are panicked about finances right now, either. There are a number of reasons for this:

• our wedding has pretty much been paid for (we have some outstanding payments on our credit card still, but that will be taken care of soon)
• our friends and family were very generous with their wedding gifts
• Brock offered Darren a substancial financial package with his acceptance into the Master's program
• we are rather frugal people so our living expenses are reasonable
• we have a bit of money in savings

So, while we certainly couldn't laze around forever, we know that survival until the fourth week of July when I start receiving paychecks again isn't an issue. Consequently any discussion with God regarding money of late has been thanks-related, not request-driven.

Nonetheless, last week a conversation with our landlord proved to be very encouraging. We got a note from the rental office just before the wedding saying that there was a $50 credit on our account. I knew right away what happened: the lease papers were written up not including the $25. parking spot, but I had included this in the first and last months' rent. But when we spoke to them about the mixup, the landlord said, "Well, since I made the mistake on the papers, I guess you get your first year's parking free." That is a $300 savings over the year.

Also, I thought I remembered something about a sign-up incentive in which the rental company would reimburse the hookup fees for telephone and cable lines. However, I wasn't sure if that was this building or another that I had looked at. When I asked about this, I was reminded also of the $200 cash back incentive from the company. That's another $300 savings.

I write this to encourage you. It seems as though God does take care of his kids, and even gives them extra sometimes.

May 19, 2006

Well, the wedding is over and we survived it. Actually, we really, really enjoyed every minute of it. It was honestly one of the funnest days of my life. (Yes, I realize "funnest" is not a word.)

I'd like to attach a few photos to share a snipit of this event with you. These were all taken by our friends and family. We're still awaiting the professional ones, but in some ways these shots are more fun and give better glimpses into the day.

Oh, and if you've got any pics to add to the file, please send 'em our way!

The elusive bag

There are many versions of this story floating around, most with an element of error, so I though I would set the story straight. Some of the details are fuzzy in my mind, too, but at least there will be a record of this event.

Our honeymoon was a week-long all-inclusive vacation in the Dominican Republic, leaving Saturday at 6:10 am. So around midnight, I thought maybe it was time to pack it in and convinced my new husband that we should go. Leona helped me get out of my wedding gown (a 2-person job) and into my vacation dress. As I was removing my headpiece, I realized that the black MEC bag that I had hung with this dress was not on the hanger. So I went to the locked storage room where it had been and searched around a bit, to no avail. At this point, I interrupted Darren’s conversation (I have no idea who he was talking to, but I’m sure they’ve forgiven me) and told him the gravity of the situation: our carryon bag, the one containing our passports, was missing.

What happened next was a whirlwind for me. This is the only part of the day that I didn’t enjoy. The DJ announced that a black purse had been misplaced, the hall lights were turned on and everyone who was still there started searching the room. The next thing I knew, people were searching vehicles, others were looking through garbage cans and still others were watching surveillance videos trying to see whether the bag was in fact brought into and out of the AGH. After a short while, I went to my parents’ hotel where Alicia, Ben and the kids were asleep.

Somehow Darren found out that Canadians can enter the D.R. with photo ID and a birth certificate, so my dad and brother-in-law (Ben) drove to my apartment in St. Catharines to pick up those pieces of identification. Darren eventually joined us at the hotel and proceeded to take a short nap. Mom and Alicia sat up with me as I cancelled the 2 credit cards that were in the missing bag and rummaged through their luggage to find stuff that I would need that was packed in the aforementioned bag. When Dad and Ben got back, Darren and I got into his car and drove to Toronto. We had decided to keep our hotel reservation because at least we could leave the car there for the week. It might have been cheaper to park at the airport, but we weren’t in a state of mind to do any mathematical calculations just then. This was just before 3 am.

The trip to Toronto was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. Our attitude pulling out of the hotel parking lot was, even if we don’t get to actually go on our honeymoon, at least we’ll enjoy the ride. So we started reviewing the day together. The conversation was filled with “remember when…”s and “I loved the part where…”s and “wasn’t it great that…”s. Before long I was in tears, having come to the realization that

• Our friends and family really love us.
• We had the perfect wedding.
• Darren and I really were made for each other.

I must have cried for 30 minutes straight, saying things like “It’s so unbelieveable that people care about us so much that they would do whatever they could to help us go on our trip!” and “My dad was right when he said in his speech that you really opened me up” and “You’ve earned the right to be Alex and Levi’s uncle!” and “I can’t believe that we each got to marry someone who is so right for the other; not a lot of people get that, you know!”

Once we neared the hotel, my focus shifted to reading the directions and that enabled me to calm down a bit. When we pulled up in front of the hotel, we both got out and headed to the trunk to get out the suitcase. As soon as the trunk door was up, I spotted THE BAG! Let me tell you: I’ve never felt such confusion, elation and embarrassment at once before! Darren and I stared at the bag for a few seconds and then hugged for a few more and then questioned how it ever got in there. To this day we’re still not sure who put the bag in Darren’s trunk, the one place that I had been wishing all evening that *I* had put it!

Anyway, we went to the Dominican with our passports in hand and had a wonderful time. But that experience, besides giving us a great story, really was positive in that it fostered some realizations that will help us through the difficult times that are bound to arise.

Thanks, everyone for your love and support!

Wedding time

Posts have been sparce recently, due to the chaos that has been my life of late. The real countdown to the wedding has begun...2 days to go. There are only details to be taken care of now, and then the big day.

So the next time you hear from me I'll be a Mrs. Until then, take care. And in the meantime, if you wouldn't mind joining me in praying for a beautiful, rain-free day, I would really appreciate it!