Housewives and their culture shock

These days I spend a lot of my free time (well, the time I call "free" but would better be called "research avoidance") reading up about Qatar. Today I came across a business started by a British woman who has been living in Qatar since 1995. She manages properties in Doha and lets them to expatriates.

We are not in need of her services since the school with which I'm employed arranges for our housing. However, she did have some helpful tips about moving, and it was nice to browse the photos she has posted of potential living spaces. The apartments she advertises look comparable to photos I'd seen on the school's website, which was encouraging.


As I was exploring the site further, I came across something surprising. In the "About Me" section of her website, Maggie cites Dr. Betsy Wells, a family therapist who has lived abroad for over 15 years. She says,

It's not just the employee who signs that contract, often it's an entire family. Typically it's the woman who has the most difficult adjustment and even the most confident women can succumb to feelings of vulnerability and depression.

This quotation probably shouldn't have caught me off guard, but it did. It is assuming that the woman and her children have relocated for the husband's job. Would it still be the woman who has the most difficult adjustment if she is the one who actually signed the contract?

I realize that in the majority of instances, if only one half of a couple works, it is the husband. But I do know men who have taken parental leave and Darren's dream is to work from home so we can avoid childcare costs in the future. Many of the couples I know share responsibilities both inside and outside of the home - they are both employed (or in school) and they both do the housework. It has become a natural way of thinking for me.

It makes me wonder how Darren and I will be viewed when we arrive in Qatar. We had decided that we would move across the globe even if we had only one job in hand. The fact that it turns out to be the woman's job doesn't change our decision. Of course, Darren will look for work once we arrive, but in the meantime, will we be considered odd?

I guess since the first people we meet in Doha will be Canadian, as well, it may not seem so strange. But then again, this woman was talking about expats, too!