Christmas reflections

This Christmas vacation has been extremely relaxing. It has been so wonderful to have some time to lay around, read, nap, watch movies...all without feeling a nagging sense of "I should be grading something" or "I'm not sure what tomorrow's reading lesson is about." Somehow this past week and a bit was very laid back and relaxed. It was slower than real life. I loved it.

Christmas itself was fabulous. I wasn't sure about this division of time between two families deal, but it was really nice to celebrate with my family and Darren's. It made for a lot of turkey, but that's ok. I won't cook my own anytime soon (or ever?) so I'm not complaining!

But this Christmas vacation has also been revealing. I learned that I need to have my time structured. If there is no pressing need or deadline, I am very good at letting things go. What I'm really feeling is guilt. I'm always so focused on doing that I have a hard time being still and feel bad when nothing gets accomplished in a day. But God provides times to rest one's body. This is it.

I read something yesterday that shook me. It’s from a book loaned to Darren and I by a couple in his church entitled “Sacred Marriage,” but the part that made me take notice (and shed a couple of tears) isn’t related to marriage at all. Gary Thomas writes:

Jesus of course, was celibate his entire life, so it’s somewhat ironic to suggest that marriage is the preferred route to becoming more like him. But Jesus did live in a family, and, as Betsy Ricucci points out, that’s all he had done at the time the Father proclaimed, ‘This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17). “What had Jesus done to receive such praise? Nothing but live in his own home, honoring his parents and serving his father’s carpentry business. Apparently that was enough to please God.

I think I will struggle my entire life with being vs. doing, but this passage sure helped. Jesus pleased his Father without doing anything. I can please my Father even on a lazy day in which nothing “gets accomplished.”

Lest I give the impression that I spent the Christmas vacation in a restful state of bliss, I think it's important to include this. I did get a wave of panic rush over me today as I thought of all the things that will have to be done next week. I'm trying to get certified by TESL Ontario (not an easy feat since I got my TESL training in Saskatchewan). The easiest way will be to get a TESL certificate from Niagara, which will be cost efficient because I can pay the staff price. I've already studied just about everything that is included in the program, but I have to prove it. Unfortunately I can't find my syllabi from Briercrest. I can get credit for other courses based on prior experience but again I have to prove it. It's a lot of work and the school is closed this week. So that will all take place while I'm preparing the courses I will teach next semester.

But I'll be well rested and ready to take it all on!