When an aunt is not really an aunt

When I was a kid, we had a lot of aunts. We technically had only 2 aunts - my mom's sister and her brother's wife - neither of whom I met until I was at least 11 years old. Regardless, I remember an Auntie This and an Auntie That.

Even now I'm not sure where all these 'aunts' came from - they were either friends of my mom or older ladies in the church. Being the good, obedient child I was, I never questioned the authenticity of these pseudo-relations or the validity of such labels. I just accepted the fact that there were lots of aunts in my life.

But this can cause confusion on the part of a child. If the lady who sits two pews back is my aunt, how is my mom's sister's position noted? Linguistically speaking, they're equals. In a family where the sisters are tight - that just won't do.

It seems my sister has come up with a solution to the 'too many aunts' problem. Here is a short excerpt from a conversation I was privy to this evening.

Alicia: When can you call someone "Uncle"?
Alex: When he kisses the bride.

That'll weed out all the fake aunts!