Snow-covered donuts

It's a lazy, snowy winter day. It's a perfect day for drinking hot chocolate under layers of blankets. Of course, we have work to do: Darren should be marking essays and I should be doing research, but sometimes a person just needs a lazy Saturday.

I don't know how it happened, but we ended up snuggled on the couch watching Transformers this afternoon. In the movie, there is a scene where two characters are in a police holding area, awaiting their interviews, with a plate of fresh donuts.

Now, I haven't had a donut in years. I've had timbits, muffins, and cookies from donut shops, but it has been a couple of years since I've eaten a donut. And I haven't wanted to. But for some reason, from that scene until about 15 minutes ago, I couldn't stop thinking about the delicious donuts. I guess Darren must have been having similar thoughts because it wasn't hard to convince him that one of us (guess which one!?!) should pick us up a half dozen.

The storm the weather experts have been threatening for days now has finally started. Since we live in the basement though, it's easy to forget about what is going on outside. So when Darren agreed to run down to the local Tim Hortons (sic), I got excited, not scared. It wasn't until I opened the door for him that I remembered that today is a lazy, snowy winter day. I begged him not to go, but he can be a little stubborn at times. As he walked out the door I called, "If the roads are no good, please, please just come back!"

About a minute and a half later, he came back. But rather than taking off his coat, he put on a hat, grabbed his mittens and informed me that he was going to walk to get me these donuts. So now I'm at home, waiting for my frozen husband to come back from his adventure on foot.

To be honest, I don't want a donut that much. But it's good for him to be out in the fresh air getting some exercise. If he comes back still able to feel his fingers and toes, I think he'll feel like he has accomplished something today.

And earned a donut!

Ahhhhh...

It's finally spring! What does that mean to me? Well, fewer layers, photo shoots, and a desire to actually leave the apartment, to name a few.

Now, I'm not naive enough to believe that we've seen the end of the white stuff. I heard on the radio (yes, I only cite reliable sources) that there have been only 2 Aprils since they've started keeping records when it didn't snow in Toronto.

But I'm not afraid of a little more snow. There is too much evidence of nicer, warmer times. Besides the fact that the snow has all melted and that people are walking around coatless, I know springtime has arrived because we received 2 wedding invitations today! Once pre-wedding season arrives, can't no one tell me we're still in for some more winter.

Hooray!!

The best

Some people are simply amazing; others need a little more work. I'm part of the latter group. My husband is the leader of the former.

These past couple months have been extremely challenging ones for the Conleys. The never-ending sickness continues, except now we have some good guesses at the cause of it. I've gone back to work and simply getting through each day is a hurdle unto itself. Meanwhile, I'm continuing on my rocky road to emotional stability, the result of suppressing my emotions for years.

Through all of this Darren has been incredible. I can't believe he doesn't get tired of reassuring me with the same messages or talking me down from a freak-out episode or coaxing me to work through yet another issue. I'm sure I'd have given up by now if it weren't for him reminding me of the important things in life and the people who care. I think God gave him an extra dose of patience in anticipation of marrying me.

And somehow he finds the time and energy to get As on all of his assignments.


Sorry, Michelle. I think we may be tied.

Small victories

I made the oddest announcement at work this afternoon. I grabbed my colleague by the arm, spun her around to face me and said in a victorious way, "I didn't have diarrhea today!!" Of course that doesn't mean everything is fine, but I'm holding on to this little victory; I need all the encouragement I can get!!

(Note: I realize this post is incredibly vague. Sorry, but it is intentional. If you'd like to hear the "long version" - what's really going on - I'd be happy to share over the phone. For everyone else - those of you who are utterly confused - don't worry about it. Scroll down a bit farther and you can read about Daylight Saving Time.)

Daylight Saving Time

As of Monday I am a listening teacher again. That means I spend my free time scouring online audio and video sources to find interesting, appropriate and relevant clips to use in the classroom. (while adhering to copyright laws, of course!)

I was trying to find an explanation of Daylight Saving Time - when and why it started, when to change our clocks, etc. - and came across this video taken from a 1950s drive in theater intermission reel. It's interesting that although DST had been around in various parts of the world since WWI, and the law was passed in the USA in 1919, there was an active campaign to not adhere to it years later. It's insignificant 'discoveries' like this that I make that make me wish I had studied history.

To me Daylight Saving Time is simply an annoyance; who wants to reset all their clocks twice a year? But then again, I never complain about the extra hour of sleep in the fall!



And don't forget, we're setting the clocks ahead earlier now: the second Sunday in March. I guess we might as well get it over with, eh?

Welcome "home"

My sister is home from Africa!

My parents and another sister drove to Chicago Friday to pick her up at the airport and then drive her to Forest for a week before she returns to Edmonton where she lives. Once they crossed the border back into Canada (and the cell phone company wouldn't charge roaming fees) she called me on my parents' cell phone. It was so good to talk to her and know that she's 'home' safely.

It really is strange but I feel better knowing that she's in the same country as me. Besides next weekend when Darren and I will drive to my Grandma's in Listowel to have lunch with her, we probably won't see Alaina again until probably some time next year the earliest. That's no sooner than if she were still in Kenya.

Alaina herself commented to a friend in Kenya, "I don't live with my family at home; I rarely see them, but somehow they miss me more when I'm in Africa."

It's true. I think it has something to do with the fact that flying to Edmonton is not difficult. We can get there in 4 hours for $179 each way on a seat sale. We don't need passports, we don't need to make tons of arrangements (we had a place to stay, etc.) and we know the culturally-acceptable ways to act.

That's part of it. The other part is that we have an unfounded sense of security here. Even if Alaina's life was never in danger, just knowing that she was in a developing country is cause to worry. Are there "adequate" medical facilities? Will she have enough to eat? Is someone going to attack her in the middle of the city? We, in the ethnocentric west, hear the word 'developing' and assume the worst.

As it turns out, there was at least one incident where safety was an issue, but that's beside the point. People get robbed, abducted, even killed every day right here in Canada but we aren't consciously aware of the probability of that in our day-to-day lives.

I am not trying to underestimate the danger there is in the world. Nor am I trying to put down the entire North American middle class lifestyle; I am thankful that I don't have to live in fear, always looking over my shoulder. What I am trying (rather unsuccessfully) to say is that even though someone may be in a country we don't know or we've heard dangerous stories from, it doesn't mean he/she is unsafe.

But what I find so strangely interesting is that I know this first hand (I was in Bosnia and Herzegovina in 2002 and 2003 when the majority of the uninformed and skeptical western public thought it was still unsafe) and yet I am so happy to have my sister home. I think that shows how easy it is to adapt, both physically and in mindset, to your surroundings. And it also makes me sad to think I've adapted so quickly and quietly.

Another thing I find interesting is that as relieved as we all are to have Alaina home, she probably isn't as happy about it. I'm sure there's a part of her that is ecstatic about seeing people she has missed the past 6 months, but reentry culture shock is incredibly underrated. It will be a huge adjustment to return to this affluent, selfish society. (But as a member of this selfish society, nonetheless I'm glad to have her here.)

Birthday patterns

Unlike my mother, I'm not one to notice patterns in everything. She finds patterns in phone numbers, addresses, names...just about everything.

My husband is like that to some extent, too. For example, we have friends whose house number is 273. Darren remembers that by saying 2+7=9 and 9x3 is 27. Therefore, 273. See how logical and easy-to-remember that is? :)

But I can't help but notice all the strange birthday coincidences in families. My dad, his mother and brother all have birthdays in February. My husband's mother, father and brother also all have birthdays in February. My niece, her father and her brother all have birthdays in June. It seems that in some families birthdays get grouped together.

In each case, however, there's at least one member who is left out of the celebratory month. I say lucky him/her, but that comes from a girl in whose family every member had his/her own birthday month (except my poor mom who had to share with her daughter and Jesus).

Visited Countries

I spent a good part of today reading up on a former professor / employer / friend. It was a very encouraging experience for me. In the process, I found a map that showed all the countries she had visited in the past. Of course I thought it would be neat to see what the Conleys' "my visited countries" map looks like.



create your own visited countries map

The red on the map represents a country where either Darren or I have been. It's interesting to note that for all that red, the only countries we've been to together are Canada and the Dominican Republic.

Recently Darren and I have been talking about our future plans a lot, since February seems to be the month that applications are due for a number of things. Anyway, it seems that every day we discuss how we're going to add red to the map...hopefully in a very "un-red" area.

You'll know more when we know more. :)

Snowy Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day!

We woke up this morning to a Valentine's Day surprise: a balcony covered in snow. When I say covered, I mean it's thigh-deep. It's both cool and freaky at the same time. If we were to open the sliding door, we'd have a mini avalanche in the apartment, which might be novel but definitely not fun to clean up.

This is the kind of day that makes me glad I have nowhere to go. I can't say the same for my poor husband. My school has been closed due to inclement weather (as if it mattered; I'm still off until after midterms) but Darren's is open despite inclement weather. Hopefully they'll have the roads nicely plowed by the time he has to leave. I find the treachery of winter driving traumatic.

Oh, and there's the Valentine's Dinner/social tonight with the members of our small group. I was supposed to bring veggies & dip that I would purchase and cut up this morning, but I'm sure not risking my life (well, at least my mental stability - it's treachery, remember!) to buy broccoli and celery. (Did anyone else get a particular theme song stuck in their head just now?)

I wonder how many people are experiencing difficulty accomplishing everyday tasks today due to the weather? Theweathernetwork.com reports that this particular storm is centred over West Virginia, which tells me that its effects are quite far-reaching. I guess we're all in this together, eh?

Well, at least I can wish you a wonderful Valentine's Day, filled with hot chocolate, long glances out the window at the gorgeous scenery and lots and lots of hugs.

Setting Goals

For someone who has nothing to do in terms of work, I am extremely stressed out. I think I might be predisposed to finding stress in otherwise relaxing situations. Either that, or I have trained myself to do it through years of practice.

When I first fell ill I was stressed about coverage for my class, lessons to send to the supply teacher, what was wrong with me and whether I would ever get better. (I clearly remember the day when I finally said to Darren, “I think this may not last forever!”)

Once the decision was made to replace me until midterm, I felt a huge sense of relief and the stress dissipated…for a while. I’ve been feeling better of late but with that has come a new set of stresses. Now I’m worried about why sometimes I still get blackout-ish vision, whether this apathy and weakness I’m experiencing is truly the direct consequence of weeks of limited exercise and increased resting (or if there is something else silently brewing inside me somewhere), and whether the next time I return to work I will experience a repeat of my 3 failed attempts. Besides that I worry about Darren and his workload, and what direction we should be taking for September.

Since I am one of those people whose mental state has an affect on her physical state, I really need to deal with these fears. So that’s my goal for this week – try to trust more and worry less. That’s in addition to the ongoing goals I set last week: exercise a little each day to build back my strength and do something relational each day. I’ve been quite a failure with the previous ones, so hopefully I’ll do better this week.

Hopefully the last of its kind

Since I know that at least one person checks this blog semi-regularly to see my health status, I thought I'd better update it.

I went back to work on Thursday. This decision was made after considering a couple of factors:

1. I had 4 good days in a row. By "good days" I mean I was able to eat semi-normally, complete small tasks like drive Darren to school, make cookies, stand through most of the singing at church and clean the bathroom. Of course I stopped to take rests, but I was able to successfully my lifestyle - modified.
2. My blood work last week indicated that my levels of sodium, potassium, iron, etc. were good.
   
3. I had a very encouraging visit to the doctor on Tuesday. She confirmed that this was indeed a virus that she likened to the flu (a 4-6 week illness) and advised me to return to work on a reduced workload.
   

So I created a lesson plan that involved me standing very little for Thursday (Ex. I changed all white board activities to overhead ones, etc.) and made the decision to go back that day.

Thursday morning I woke up feeling terrible again. Many of my symptoms that had died down returned and I spent the morning in bed, telling myself that if I just got enough rest that morning, I'd be OK for my 3:30 class. Around 1:30 I headed to work so I could look over the notes the supply teachers had left me and make some final decisions about what to include in the lesson. But sitting at my desk I felt hot, shaky, uneasy in my digestive tract and unable to think clearly. I was kicking myself for even trying to go back when I knew that morning that I wasn't well, but I thought that maybe all I needed was a little push to get back into the swing of things.

I'm feeling a number of things: I'm frustrated because I truly thought I was on the mend. I know this is the third time I've said that, but I was confident this time. I feel foolish for having tried and failed yet again to return to work. I'm also bored. I'm tired of being at home, I miss my colleagues and students, and I want to return to 'normal' life, whatever that is. Besides that, I find myself often doubting the veracity of this illness. Because I have so many good moments, I wonder whether this is a figment of my imagination.

But people are so wonderful. Darren reassures me constantly, despite an intense workload he's bearing. My parents were here and they brought some easy-to-make meals as well as some frozen homemade soup (I was spoiled as a child so now I have a hard time eating canned soup) which was very helpful. And my friends are praying, sending encouraging notes and running errands for us.

I know this is temporary and I'm still not sure what it is I am to learn through this. But in the meantime I guess I'm to rest a little more and build up some more strength.

Will it ever end?

Well, surprise, surprise. Looks like I'm a freak of nature. Or at least that's how I feel.

I had a good weekend. I was out and about. I felt 85% of my normal self. Besides being unable to stand through the worship sequence at church Sunday morning, I lived life in a typical way for me.

But this morning I was feeling somewhat under the weather again. I decided to go to school, though for my one-hour staff meeting and one-hour class. Darren's advice was, "Sit down while you're teaching." That was my plan.

But I didn't make it to either of those appointments. Before going to the office I had to purchase a parking permit for the semester. (Since I've been off for 2 weeks, I hadn't done that yet.) So I parked in the 15 min. visitor's parking area, walked to the Ancillary Office to pay the ridiculous fee to leave my car unattended on school property, and immediately sat down. I felt weak and faint and warm - not good signs. I was promptly cared for - whisked away to the campus health centre by wheelchair, analyzed, deliberated over, and sent to the minor emergency walk-in clinic at a local hospital.

My ride and I spent the afternoon there, waiting to be seen and then waiting for the results of my urine and blood tests, which showed that I am not dehydrated, nor do I have worrisome levels of salt, potassium, etc. in my system. Basically I'm fine, but I can't stand for more than 6 minutes at a time or walk across the college on my own.

I am so frustrated. I really thought I was over this thing. And the worst part is that Darren had a day that rivaled mine for "crappiest day" and I don't have much sympathy (empathy? support? you know what I mean) in me tonight...just lots and lots of frustration. So I'm both healthy-sick and a lousy wife. Grrr!

Beautiful poetry

A few weeks ago our friend Chrissy was over for an evening of catching up and Carcassonne. As as aside, I think this may be the first game that I actually prefer playing with just 2 players. We first played Carcasonne with my sister & brother-in-law and whomever else was over at the time. We enjoyed it immensely but when we got home and acquired our own copy, we were afraid that it would be significantly less fun with a smaller group. But we found just the opposite; the strategy changes with the number of participants, but I think I enjoy it more with only 2 or 3.

Ok, back to the story at hand. While Darren was playing a few rounds of some video game (Zelda, maybe?) and I was making a pot of tea, Chrissy wrote a beautiful poem with our Magnetic Poetry that I think deserves to be shared with the six people who read this blog. My favourite part of the poetry writing was when Chrissy asked if I had any 'creepy' adjectives. I guess she didn't realize that this particular set of magnetic poetry is the romance kit that I bought Darren for Valentine's Day last year.

Without further ado, here you go:


If you would like to make your own poem, check out Magnetic Poetry online here.

Room with a view

I can't stop looking out my window; it's absolutely breathtaking! Darren and I live on the 4th floor of an apartment building and our windows/balcony overlook a field lined with trees and a small creek.

We've had some interesting winter weather the past few days with snow, ice pellets, and some warmer weather followed by colder weather and the result has been something beautiful. The trees are covered with icicles and the ground is covered with snow. And today the sun came out, making everything sparkle.

I ventured out onto the balcony this afternoon to take some pictures, in an attempt to preserve the beauty and share it with you. Unfortunately the photos don't do the view justice, but I'll share them with you nonetheless.






Every time I look out my window I feel very special. I like to believe that God made this beautiful icy wonderland just for me, since I have very little else to do at home sick all day and all night.

And it seems like there's no end in my immediate sight - my boss called and begged me not to bring this bug into the office. So I guess I have a few more days to enjoy the gorgeous scenery.

Year of the virus...pt. 2

The sickness saga continues. This morning began with a long debate about whether or not I had the strength to do any of the following:
(a) drive myself to and from work in the winter storm,
(b) teach my one hour of class today, or
(c) not faint between the time I arrive at work and the time I come home. I finally decided that chances were slim that I could accomplish all 3 of those basic tasks given the way I felt at that moment, and as I started writing an email to my boss including a lesson for someone else to teach, he called me to inform me that the power had gone out at the school and classes were canceled. That was the good news of the day.

Talking with my boss helped me realize that at this point it's probably not enough to rely on what the computer at telehealth thinks I have, so I decided to pay a visit to my doctor. Getting there is a story in itself, since Darren took the car to school today. I realized that I have few relationships that are at the calling-for-favours-such-as-driving-me-to-a-doctor's-appointment-level. I've got to work on that.

But I was disappointed to hear what the doctor had to say, once I made it there. Apparently I have gastro-somehting-itis, which is in fact a virus, and which she expects will take 2 weeks to get over. According to my doctor, 11% of the St. Catharines workforce is out sick. She said I'd probably need the rest of the week at home. I'm hoping to be back Wednesday, at least for the 3 hours that I actually teach.

So that's the latest. Hopefully I'll have more interesting things to write about soon.

2007, the year of the virus?

Since we're already into week 3 of 2007, I figure it's time for a little update from Larissa. Except for a trip to church & Quizno's today, I haven't left the apartment since Wednesday, and that was something I totally regretted.

The new semester started on Monday, mostly as usual. I met my 2 new classes, did some introductory stuff and bid them all, "see you tomorrow." That evening I felt a cold coming on so I took a little nap before getting ready for class the next day. In the morning I got myself ready for work, but after a less-than-pleasurable bathroom experience and much debating about the state of my stomach/head/entire body, on the way out the door I decided to give a colleague a call to get her to cover my classes.

After spending the day in bed (well, between bed and bathroom), I felt much better, so Tuesday morning I got myself ready for work, drove Darren to school and proceeded to drive myself to Welland. About half an hour later, a wave of faintness came over me and I could do nothing but put my head down and try to remain conscious. It was then that a colleague came in to help. A sports beverage, multiple suggestions and much discussion later it was decided that I could neither work nor drive myself home (apparently faint-headed people shouldn't drive in the snow...or in any weather condition, for that matter).

The next thing I now I was being driven to another colleague's house, tucked into bed and cuddled by a big black (lab?) puppy. At the end of the work day, the homeowner returned with news that the colleague who had driven me there (and covered my class) was picking up Darren so he could drive our car - and me - home. I felt so grateful and embarrassed to have caused such a commotion. But mostly grateful.

A call to telehealth on Thursday confirmed that I had a virus and a call to my boss suggested that I take until the end of the weekend to recover. Which I did. Except that this morning again I felt some of the weakness of this crazy virus, but with the help of my husband a successful trip to church ensued! Now for a little more rest and some lesson planning before we try again tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong - this hasn't been the worst week of my life; there have been moments of joy. Darren has humoured me and we've played a few games of Carcassonne, in the last of which I beat him by 3 points after he farmed a 50-point-area. (I realize that will make sense to very few of you, but those of you who can decipher it, you know the joy I felt!) Also, I witnessed for the first time in my life triangular ice pellets today. (see Darren's post for further clarification). And I realized just how fabulous my coworkers are after the way they banded together to take care of me when I was foolish enough to deny the fact that I was sick. Hopefully we won't have a repeat performance tomorrow when I attempt to teach again.

Merry Christmas!

So, we're home from our adventures in Alberta.

Darren and I spent this Christmas with my sister and her family in Edmonton. It was 10 days filled with stories, songs, games, winter activities and laughter. For a more complete rundown on our time out west, check out Darren's blog. For me the main highlights include visiting both Alex's kindergarten and Levi's preschool, playing over 10 rounds of our new favourite game, Carcassonne (and winning some!), going on a fun date with Alicia and Ben and doing fun family activities together such as toboganning, swimming and skiing (although skiing was a semi traumatic experience for me).

I miss them already! But as enjoyable as out time visiting was, I must admit it was nice to sleep in our own bed last night. And it was also nice to have some time to do absolutely nothing of value today, except get up and eat our meals at our usually scheduled time in an attempt to avoid any prolonged jet lag. I know it's only a 2 hour time difference, but going East is always hard!!

Anyway, here are a couple of photos that sum up our time away. Enjoy! (And for more go to www.darrenconley.com.)

Just a moment

Ahhh...the final days of December! The time when people are rushing around with parties and assignments and gatherings and shopping and baking and...and...and...

BUT NOT ME!! At this exact moment I feel absolutely no stress. Please read that as it is written: at this exact moment. I have felt plenty of stress in the past few days/weeks and I'm sure Thursday/Friday won't be a treat, but I am choosing to enjoy these few minutes (hopefully hours!) of peace.

My paper is written, my first of 2 exams is marked and grades are recorded, dinner is ready and all I need now is Darren to come home with the cookie cutters - yes, he is *that* amazing a man that he went to the store to buy me Christmas cookie cutters! - to eat and watch Justice League (hey, I have to do *something* for a guy who will go out to buy cookie cutters!).

I don't think I've ever been this relaxed on December 12 before. It's fabulous! I'm going to enjoy it before the packing, cleaning, visiting, marking, and meetings start...tomorrow!

Jack Sprat

I've always thought the nursery rhyme about Jack Sprat was stupid. You know the one:

Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean;
And so, between the two of them,
They licked the platter clean.

Some very, very brief research has shown me that this rhyme could really be a jest about Charles I of England and his wife Henrietta Maria in regards to the financing of a war with Spain. I don't want to get into that. Instead, I'd like to propose the following: I think it's about Darren I of St. Catharines and his wife Larissa Joy in regards to the Christmas snack mix.

When Leona was here visiting for the weekend we made a half batch of her (received from Margie Gilmore) White Chocolate Christmas Mix. I made this for a couple of reasons.
1. I know that Darren loves white chocolate.
2. It makes a nice Christmas-y snack.

I planned to serve it at our small group meeting on Thursday, but I wanted Darren to try a little first. [sidenote: It took him 3 days to finally oblige me and taste the mix. For some reason he was afraid of it. I can't figure him out sometimes.] When he did finally try the mix we discovered - and this is how it relates to Jack and his wife - that while I love the pretzels and dislike the M&Ms, Darren feels exactly the opposite.

So, in other words Darren Conley could eat no pretzels, his wife could eat no M&Ms. And so between the two of them they finished all the snack mix.

Sorry, small group!

Bonne fete! Feliz cumpleanos! Sretan rodzendan!

I love my birthday! I don't mind getting old (any more - once I came to terms with 25, it's been much easier!!) and I love having a day when everything really is about me. There are few days in a year when one can expect others to do the things they usually do - like the dishes, for example. Oh, and there's the special outings associated with birthdays, too.

This year I particularly enjoyed my birthday. Somehow I was able to work on Monday and Tuesday but still feel like they were both vacation days for me. My husband, determined to make sure that it was a fabulous day, succeeded brilliantly. I'm really a blessed one!

Having spent the weekend relaxing, celebrating and doing a little work, I feel rested enough to deal with the end of term madness that is just around the corner. There are exams to be created, given and then marked. There are final projects to be collected and evaluated. There are meetings to attend and lessons that still need to be planned. There's even a summative reflective essay that I need to write ('cause I'm taking a few courses on the side, too!) But I feel like I have the energy and motivation to tackle them - if I can stop writing on this crazy blog, that is!

Sidenote: (I'm doing this a lot lately, eh?)
I used to believe that 24 was the perfect age. That was until I turned 27 and celebrated my champagne birthday, and then I had to adjust the "perfect age" by 3. But I must say, so far I love being 28!

Our Halfiversary

Yesterday was what Darren and I like to call our halfiversary. The term "sixth mesiversary" seemed a little drab for such a special occasion; we believe it warranted the creation of a new word.

Anyway, I thought I would take this opportunity to consider the past 6 months.

I love being married. I think it's wonderful to share a home with someone I love. I appreciate having someone who knows me well enough to be able to help me when I'm freaking out. I'm so thankful that "Good night" is now followed by rolling over and going to sleep rather than driving 45 minutes to get home. And I love knowing that there are two of us who are committed to dealing with whatever comes our way.

Being married means being supported and supportive, understood and understanding, loved and loving...you get the point. It's a lot of work, but it has a lot of rewards.

The first 6 months of being married have been fabulous, but not easy. If you were to ask Darren about his impressions of married life, he'd likely say something along the lines of "some things that we thought would be easy to adjust to have been difficult, and some things we thought would be harder to deal with have been easy." I think that's a pretty accurate description.

If someone were to ask me what to expect when they got married, I'd say this: Expect to have all your expectations destroyed. The majority of the conflict we've experienced has been a direct result of an unfulfilled/unrealistic expectation of some sort. But I'm very thankful for times of conflict because there is great joy and closeness in the resolution of them. And it's encouraging to see both the frequency of mini conflicts and the time needed to reach a resolution diminishing!

In just 6 months we've learned a lot, grown a lot, laughed a lot and even caught each other acting like our parents at least once. Does it feel like I've been married for half a year? The answer: I don't know what being married for half a year is supposed to feel like. Darren and I have both commented that sometimes it feels like we've been together for a long time, and other times it feels so new.

Either way, it's good.

Halloween Update

So only 2 people at the entire party correctly guessed what I was dressed as although my students had multiple thoughts. I got everything from a baby to a pregnant lady to blank stares and shrugs. I thought Darren's costume would give it away, but it didn't. I'm going to write this off not as an experiment gone wrong, but as an example of cultural misunderstanding. :)

Oh, and next time I'll have to either use a box, paper with balloons or the words "Happy birthday" on it, a store-bought bow for my head or put a large To:/From: tag on.
Sigh...live and learn.


By the way, Darren's hat says HAPPY BIRTHDAY on it and his badge says #1 Birthday Boy. And yes, that is his birthday suit. :)

I've got it!

As Chrissy suggested in her comment on my previous post, I was going to write about my Hallowe'en costume woes. But then I thought "Hey, didn't I do that last year?"

Yesterday I wrote her a desperate email begging for costume idas. Since she works at a party store, I figure she's my best bet for such information. Try as she may, I was unsatisfied with her suggestions, although I toyed with the idea of dressing as an ESL teacher. (You're very funny, Chrissy!)

Last night I spent a good chunk of time browsing this website and found a solution to my costume dilemma. I was quite impressed with the ideas therein. There were lots of great ideas for homemade costumes and also lots of lame pun-based costumes like a babysitter in which one ties a doll to his/her rear end. LAME!!

Eventually I decided on a costume that meets my criteria:

1. It's cute and/or fun.
2. It's easy to make/put together.
3. All the components are easy to get.
4. It's at least semi-comfortable.
   

And voila! My costume:

(Please tell me you know what I am!!)

All I have to say is that Darren's lucky. If we had had big boxes laying around I would have forced him to dress up with me as a pair of dice. Or maybe a magnet, and I'd wrap myself in tin foil. But this way his entire costume consists of a birthday hat and noisemaker (besides a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.) That should appease his "I don't like dressing up and especially not in constrictive getups" side.

I've never been this ready costume-wise for the work Hallowe'en party before. I guess it pays to plan a little ahead. This way I can look forward to Friday rather than dread the stress-filled moments before the party as I run around the apartment searching for anything that resembles anything but me!

Shame on me

I'm a bad sister. Alaina is in Mombassa, Kenya right now at a YWAM Discipleship Training School. She left in September and won't be home until February. This is her first time away from all of her friends and family for an extended period of time.

Since she's been in Africa, I have chatted with her on MSN messenger once and joined in on the family's phone call to her at Thanksgiving. But I haven't sent a single email.

She has a blog and I read it faithfully. Acually, I do more than read it; I'm her editor. It's my job to add photos and formatting since she it's more challenging from via her Internet connection. So I feel like I'm somewhat involved in her life there, but I still haven't written an email!

I should know better. Every time I've been abroad, I have longed for word from home. Even though I loved what I was involved in, I always wanted to stay connected to the community I had left. I would leave comments at the end of group emails (blogs weren't popular back then) that hinted at my desire to receive "status reports" from my friends and family, (ok, I probably should say begged...) but few people would respond with emails.

Now I realize that most people were thinking, "There's not much going on here. What does she want me to write about...what I had for supper?" That's a fair argument, and actually the one that I use every time I think about writing and don't. But the correct answer is: YES! Yes, she wants me to write about what I had for supper or the fact that I got my midterm grades completed or that my husband wrote a paper on blogging in the classroom or that I had a funny conversation yesterday. It may seem dumb and insignificant, but it's just so nice to be remembered and included in the day-to-day business that you're missing.

Shame on me! I know the value of getting some news, albeit mundane news, from the homeland and I don't do it. But I will. I'm off to send an email!


Sidenote: It worked out well for me that Darren wasn't one of those people who thought his life was insignificant. When I was in Chile he wrote me long, informative emails that helped me feel less abandoned by my Canadian consort. Of course it helped that he thought I was interested in him...but that's a longer story for another time.